Evil Redhead
by OreoSparrow
Summary: Doofenshmirtz plans to use his Ultimate-Evil-Inator (yes, the one that made Carl evil by accident) to make himself more evil before the public, and be made ruler of the Tri-State Area. When a certain triangle-headed boy gets a little too close to the machine, the whole plan backfires quite horribly, and Danville may just have to deal with something far worse than Doofenshmirtz.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, there! Welcome to another story by me, Oreo! Sorry for the inactivity lately; my muse has been low. Well, there's nothing else to say except let's get started! **

/

It started out as any other ordinary day for Perry the Platypus.

While Phineas, Ferb and their friends were busy building another contraption, the small blue monotreme whipped on his trademark fedora, pressed a button on the side of the tree in the backyard, opened a trapdoor, and jumped through, free-falling through the underground and into his orange chair. The screen before him flickered on immediately.

"Good morning, Agent P," Major Monogram said, looking the same as ever, if a bit bored. "Our numerous cameras in Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. show that, over the past week, Doof has been working on a new invention. What we _can't_ figure out is what this new invention will do. He hasn't tested it out or accidentally left his notes lying around the lab for us to find, as usual."

"It's true!" Carl chimed in. "I searched all the camera screens. No notes. No anything! And he hasn't left the inator out, either-"

"Carl, this is my briefing! Get back behind the camera!" the major interrupted, then continued. "As Carl just told you, Dr. Doofenshmirtz isn't taking any chances with his inator. He's got it locked away instead of out in the open like usual. Your mission is the usual; find out what exactly the inator does, and then make sure Doof doesn't have the chance to use it. If he's taking such pains to keep it safe, then it must do something big. Good luck, Agent P!"

Agent P saluted, then ran across the room and hopped into his hovercar, rising up through the launch tube and out of sight.

/

Not long after, Agent P kicked down Dr. Doofenshmirtz's door. An unexpected sight met his eyes.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's head poked out from behind an enormous inator hidden beneath a beige cloth. He appeared to be trying to push it out of the next room and failing miserably.

"Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus," the evil doctor shouted to Perry. "Would you be a dear and just help me move this onto the truck bed over there?" He nodded to the center of the room, where he had parked a large truck.

Perry debated for a second, sighed, and then reluctantly helped Doof push the inator into the truck.

"Thank you, Perry the Platypus," said Dr. Doofenshmirtz, dusting off his hands. He snapped his fingers, and a cage dropped onto Perry, attaching itself to the floor of the truck.

"Now, I bet you're wondering what that was you helped me load, right?" Without pausing, the doctor continued, "Well, that was my newest inator. I can't show it to you yet-I have to drive it into town first-but let me tell you, it's one of my most diabolical inators yet!

"You remember my Ultimate-Evil-Inator? The one that backfired horribly and turned that unpaid intern from OWCA into a highly competent villain?"

Perry's eyes widened slightly. He remembered the Ultimate-Evil-Inator very well.

"Yes, that one. Well," Doof continued, "I've made a variation of that! Yes, but this will be different. See, I built another Evil-Inator, but _this_ time, I'm going to drive it into town and announce it to the public. Then, I'll shoot _myself_ with it, making me a highly evil villain, much better than I already am. I'll demand that the citizens of Danville make me their leader, and they'll comply, because they'll be so afraid of me!"

The evil doctor took a few seconds to laugh evilly. "And there's _nothing you can do about it!_"

Perry rolled his eyes.

/

"Phineas! Ferb!" Linda shouted from inside the house.

"Yeah, Mom?" Phineas replied, tinkering with the controls of their latest invention.

"We're heading into town. Bring your friends with you. There's some sort of commotion down there-I just got a call from Jeremy's mother," was the reply.

"What's that all about?" Isabella asked as she hammered a sheet of metal into place.

"It seems that we'll have to put this on hold," replied Ferb.

Buford poked his head out from behind an enormous load of wood board he and Baljeet were carrying into the yard. "Does that mean we can put this down?" he asked.

"Yes," Baljeet added. "My arm muscles are getting quite sore."

"What arm muscles?" Buford joked.

I guess so," Phineas said, answering their question. "Come on, guys, let's go!"

Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet left the half-finished invention in the backyard and walked into the driveway.

Linda was waiting in the car, where Candace also sat unhappily in the passenger seat. No doubt she'd been in the middle of a call to Stacy or some such.

"Jump in, kids," their mother said, smiling at Phineas. "We should get to Main Street soon."

After all six children were packed into the car ("I am not a child!" Candace shouted at the narrator.), Phineas suddenly realized something.

"Hey!" he said. "Where's Perry?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, it's Oreo, and I'm back with chapter 2! Yeah, and I reread Chapter 1 and noticed this:**

**The evil doctor took a few seconds to laugh evilly.**

**And I thought, why on earth did I put that? **

**Redundancy. Even the best of writers fall prey to it. Ah, well, let's get to review replies!**

**Jet Engine: Yes. Yes, it would.**

**Megaranger66: Be afraid. Be very afraid…**

**/**

Perry was currently in a cage secured to the passenger seat of Doofenshmirtz's truck with a seatbelt. The pair hurtled down Main Street-Agent P had forgotten about Doof's abysmal driving skills-as he continually honked the horn at irritating drivers.

"Hey! Don't you think about taking that parking spot, that is _mine!_" Doofenshmirtz shouted out the window, then pulled into a space next to City Hall.

"Okay, we're here, Perry the Platypus!" The doctor exited the car. Perry could hear him walking around to the back.

"Oh, I didn't think about having to actually unload the inator," Doofenshmirtz suddenly realized. (Perry rolled his eyes.) "And now I have to do it alone….Oh, well." A very loud, very long screeching noise filled the air, but after several minutes, the inator was finally on the sidewalk, and Perry's cage was lifted into the air as Doof carried it over to the inator and set it down. "There, Perry the Platypus. Now you have a front-row seat. Prepare to watch me take over the tri-state area!" Doofenshmirtz allowed himself another evil laugh before leaving Perry on the sidewalk as he went around the inator to tinker with something.

/

"So what's going on down here, anyway?" Phineas asked his mother, poking his head between her and Candace's seats.

"Apparently, there's some sort of important town meeting being called by Mayor Doofenshmirtz," Linda replied as she spotted a parking space by City Hall and drove toward it. Some yelling was heard, and Linda looked irritated before backing up and driving away. "How rude," she murmured, but said no more.

"What?" Candace said. "You're just going to let that ugly-looking guy in the lab coat intimidate you?" She stuck her head out the window and watched the truck maneuver into the space with a disgusted look.

"Well, I, for one, prefer to keep out of physical confrontations whenever possible," Baljeet volunteered.

"Meh. I say, yell back at 'im and then park there anyway." Buford crossed his arms.

"I wonder what he's doing," Phineas said, watching as the man moved a giant, cloth-covered something off of the truck and onto the sidewalk.

"Maybe we'll find out," Isabella replied.

The varied conversations continued until Linda finally found another spot….five blocks away.

"Why do we have to walk all the way to City Hall?" griped Candace. "You should have taken that spot."

Despite Candace complaining, they quickly reached City Hall, where a crowd was gathering around Doof and his large cloth-covered inator.

/

The man in the lab coat opened the truck and took out a bullhorn. He switched it on, then yelled into it, "Hello? Testing, one, two…can everybody hear me?"

The crowd of Danvillians stopped chattering and looked at him expectantly.

"My name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz," continued the man.

Buford burst into laughter. "That's gotta be the most ridiculous name I ever heard," he muttered. Isabella elbowed him. "Shush!"

"And I am here to become ruler of the tri-state area!" Doofenshmirtz said with a flourish.

A few seconds' pause, then almost the whole crowd, including Buford, began laughing.

Doofenshmirtz looked taken aback. "What? You don't believe me?" he said, but the crowd took no notice. Finally the doctor was forced to yell, "QUIET!" and the crowd shut up and listened.

"This," shouted Doofenshmirtz, pointing to the cloth-covered something, "is my new-and-improved Ultimate-Evil-Inator!" He pulled off the cloth, and, to the gasps of the crowd, pointed out its various attributes, such as the large skull-thing affixed to the front, which apparently was a mere decoration.

"Anyhow," he continued, "in just a few minutes, I will use my Ultimate-Evil-Inator to make _myself_ into one of the world's most successful villains. Then, all of the tri-state area will bow to me!" Doofenshmirtz didn't hold himself back; this time his evil laughter went uninterrupted for almost a full minute.

"Oh, no," Phineas said, eyes wide. (Well, wider than usual.) "Come on, guys! Let's go check out that machine. Maybe there's something we can do to stop this!" Ferb nodded assent.

"I'm in," Isabella volunteered immediately, not stopping to think about what might happen if they were caught.

"You'll probably be breaking things. That happens to be Buford's specialty," Buford announced.

"I thought your specialty was hurting me," Baljeet said.

"That too," Buford said, lifting Baljeet by the seat of his pants and giving him a terrific wedgie in the process. "Let's go."

/

"I don't see anything," Isabella said, as they crouched behind the giant machine. "No self-destruct buttons or anything like that."

"But evil inventors always include a self-destruct button," Phineas replied.

"How do you know?" Buford asked, suddenly interested.

"Um…" Phineas stopped, forehead scrunched in confusion. "Somehow," he finally settled on saying. "I just do."

"Well, if there's nothing else we can do, should we not pull the plug?" Baljeet asked.

There was a pause. "I didn't think of that," Phineas admitted after several seconds.

"Prepare to watch as I become the most evil villain in all the tri-state area!" cried Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

The evil scientist reached for the on/off switch.

Phineas reached for the plug.

There was a loud explosion-sounding noise.

And all was quiet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! Man, my muse has been low. Must. Stop. Procrastinating. Anyway, REVIEW REPLIES TIMEZ!**

**Megaranger66: That's right. I'm the MASTER of suspense. (No, I'm not, LOL)**

**Galaxina-The-Seedrian: Good two words. That is a good two words.**

**/**

When the inator exploded, Perry took the opportunity to pick the lock of his cage and leap out.

"My inator!" cried Doofenshmirtz as he picked up broken pieces of the machine. "My beautiful inator! And I don't feel any eviler at all!"

Since the inator looked to be ruined already, Agent P just activated his jet pack and sped off.

"CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" shouted Doofenshmirtz.

Another mission successful.

Sort of.

/

"Phineas!" cried Isabella. "Where are you?"

"Over here," they heard. Phineas sat among several pieces of the inator. He was singed and coughing. "I'm okay."

"Upon further reflection, pulling the plug may not have been the best idea," Baljeet offered sheepishly.

Isabella rounded on him. He shrank back. "You almost got Phineas killed! What were you thinking?" she shrilled furiously.

"I'm okay, Isabella," Phineas repeated, standing shakily and putting one hand to the wall to support himself. "Let's go home."

"I second that," Baljeet was quick to add.

"Me too," Buford said.

Ferb shrugged.

"Yeah," Isabella said. "Yeah, you're right. I'm going home. See you guys tomorrow."

/

The next day, Isabella walked back across the street. She was about to open the gate when Baljeet poked his head out of the garage window and waved her over.

"What's going on?" she asked, when she saw Ferb and Buford inside, but no Phineas. "Phineas' birthday just happened, like, a month ago. What are you doing in here?"

"It appears," said Ferb, "that we have a situation here."

Isabella looked confused.

"Phineas is acting really weird today," interrupted Buford. "I mean, more than the usual."

Baljeet peered nervously out the window again and turned back to Isabella. "He has been out there all morning talking to himself and ignoring everyone else. And he drew a bunch of blueprints for what looks like some sort of atmosphere machine. _And_ did I mention that every once in a while, there is a small explosion?"

"Oh, come on, Baljeet. Are you sure you're not exaggerating?" Isabella asked, crossing her arms.

"Believe me, I know, woman!" Baljeet answered with surprising ferocity. "May I remind you? Brain-booster hat? Giant fortress? Moving Earth's atmosphere to the _moon_?"

"How could I forget?" Isabella said, rolling her eyes slightly. "Okay, maybe there's something going on. Why don't we, you know, just go in and check it out?"

"You do not believe us," sighed Baljeet. "Okay. Go in and see for yourself."

Isabella headed toward the gate. "Fine."

/

Pushing open the backyard gate, Isabella chirped, "Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin?"

Phineas sat next to a large pile of scrap metal, discarded blueprints littering the ground around him. And Isabella approached, he muttered something, crumpled the one he was drawing, and threw it away, immediately grabbing another fresh blue sheet.

"Hey, Phineas," Isabella repeated.

Phineas looked up. "Oh. Hi, Isabella." He went back to drawing.

Isabella picked up one of the crumpled blueprints. There was no title, but she saw drawings of storm clouds, scribbled and crossed out equations, and lightning striking a machine. "What's this?"

"Flawed plans" was her only answer.

"For what?"

She received no reply. Phineas was already distracted by his blueprints again.

"See?" Baljeet said.

"Has this been happening all morning?" Isabella asked Ferb, bewildered.

"Pretty much," Ferb replied. "He didn't even want to eat breakfast, and Mum made banana pancakes."

"That is weird," Isabella agreed. "Maybe we should just wait and see what he's building.

"Sounds good to me," Buford said, pushing Baljeet out of the way.

And so they sat down on the grass.

And waited.

"What are you doing?" asked Candace as she came out of the house a while later.

"Waiting," said Ferb.

Candace was immediately suspicious, but sensing a busting opportunity, she joined them.

And they waited some more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ahhhh gotta write this chapter quick no time for replies let's get going!**

**/**

After a while, Phineas stopped scribbling madly and held up one of the blueprints.

Isabella snapped out of her daydream, in which Phineas had built an airplane, flown them to Paris, and proposed to her on the EiffelTower. "Are you done?" she asked, ready to get on with the building.

"Yes. Yes, I am," Phineas muttered, casting a glance at an empty section of the backyard as though imagining his invention standing there.

"What is it?"

The boy turned to his friends with a surprised expression, as if he hadn't noticed his stepbrother and the four other kids sitting behind him. Clearing his throat, he announced, "This is for my storm generator."

Buford punched a sleeping Baljeet in the arm, who yelped before noticing Phineas looking irritated. He rubbed his arm sorely and glared at Buford.

"As I was saying," Phineas continued, "these are blueprints for the storm generator I'm going to build."

Isabella raised her hand. "How does it make storms?"

As Phineas explained how the generator worked, Candace left the group. "Mom!" she yelled.

In the kitchen, Linda sighed; she'd known this was coming. "What is it, dear?" she asked

as she scrubbed a plate.

Candace burst into the kitchen. "Phineas and Ferb are going to build a storm generator!"

she said, gesturing to the sliding glass door.

Linda raised one eyebrow. "Going to build? So you mean they haven't started yet?"

"Um, no," Candace replied, somewhat stunned that her mother seemed to be taking her

seriously.

"Then you mean you have no evidence that they're actually building something?"

Oh. "Uh, I guess not," the girl answered sheepishly.

Facing away from Candace, Linda rolled her eyes. "Honey, why don't you come back when you at least have something to show me?"

Somewhat disgruntled, Candace peered out the glass door. Phineas was now getting carried away in his explanation, gesturing wildly as he explained the inner workings of the generator to a bewildered Isabella.

"And so it takes the water vapor, and infuses it with growth elixir, which transforms the normal-sized storm into a superstorm!" he finished.

"But wouldn't it just turn the tiny water droplets into big water droplets and create a lake?" Isabella asked.

Phineas stopped. "No," he said, seemingly disappointed that Isabella didn't understand. "Anyway, that's how it works."

Buford and Baljeet exchanged looks.

"Did you follow that conversation at all?" Buford whispered.

"How could I? The boy speaks at the speed of sound!" Baljeet returned.

Even Ferb looked slightly confused.

After the delivery truck made its daily stop at the house, Phineas set them all to work hammering this, adjusting that, carrying this. Soon, Buford and Ferb had built a general outline of the machine, which resembled a giant sphere with two tubelike antennae and a door cut into it.

Candace watched from the sliding glass window.

"Mom!" she shouted. "It's happening! Come look!"

"Not now, dear," her mother called from the front door. "I'm going shopping. I'll look when we get back."

"We?"

"You're coming with me."

Candace leaned to see into the backyard before following her mom out of the house; the generator seemed to be finished.

As the five kids stood staring up at the massive machine, Irving walked into the backyard.

"Hi!" he chirped. "What'cha-"

Isabella faced him, cutting him off. "Don't you dare," she threatened with an accusing finger.

"We just finished making today's big project," replied Phineas, answering Irving's unfinished question as the boy joined the group. "I call it…"

He paused for effect, arms held in the air.

"The Storm-Generator-Inator!"

Phineas was met with confused looks.

"What is the point of adding the suffix "-inator"?" Baljeet asked.

"Yeah," said Isabella. "It seems kind of redundant."

Phineas didn't seem to have an answer for that. "Well, it just sounded like it needed it, I guess," he said at last. "Gives it a nice touch."

"I have another question," Isabella added. "What exactly are we going to do with this thing?"

Phineas perked up at a question he had the answer to. "Well, I was thinking something along the lines of propelling the machine into the sky via blimp, and then unleashing a massive storm upon the whole of America." He looked back to the group, seemingly expecting agreement.

Nobody could do anything other than gape for a few seconds.

"…Did I miss something big?" Irving spluttered.


End file.
